We all were quite exausted when we get into the car, tack on a long
drive, late into the night. When we arrived at Madcat's apartment, we were
beat. We promptly crashed out, and fell sound asleep on the hard wooden floor.
The
next morning I awoke, slightly disoriented. I was not entirely sure of where
I was. Oh yes, Chicago. Known for....It's PIZZA!!!!! Madcat comes into the
room that Mab, Paolo and I were asleep on the floor, bearing a hearty breakfast
of cold pizza and coffee. Even the breakfast pizza, cold though it was,
was amazing. We talked about what we would do for the time we were here
and we decide that the stinkey Homo Sapiens needed to do laundry. I am fortunate
in that I am made of wood and my O-So-Dapper red vest is carved onto my body.
Fast forwarding past the boring
ordeal at the laundrymat where Mab, Paolo, and Madcat play card games,
while I sit and stare at the Chicago Natives.
After we are all clean and fresh smelling, we go to meet up with Madcat's
Mate, a lovely female who manages an art gallery. We visit her in her new
home. Within her home, she had numerous works of art, a good sized kitchen,
beautiful furniture, and a Great Hellhound. 
And to my horror!! What
did I see??? A Monkey In IT'S JAWS!!!!!!! I acted without thinking (if
I had paused for one moment, I would have lost my nerve!) Armed only
with my rage and impulse, I hopped upon a bench and shouted taunts at
the beast, hopping he would drop his victum. He simply wagged his tail
and continued to chew on the poor monkey.
Gentle readers, at
this time, I must warn you, the following graphics are so horrible and
grusome, I reccomend you prepare yourself for the worst.......
He
held the poor monkey in his iron jaws, drool escaping from the side of
his maw! Finally, I changed my taunts from name-calling to things like
"Com'ere Boy!!" and clapping my hands. He responded!!!! He came to me!
I quickly ran through my head all the things I learned in college about
hostage negotiation. I used calming words and soothing tones. I said
things like "yes, you are a goood boooooy, yes you are...who's a good
boy?" His tail indicated positive response. Yes! I slowly reached out,
and pet his head. The Hellhound was being tamed! He opened his mouth to
lick his lips, and he DROPPED THE HOSTAGE!!!!!!
And
after I got my new friend out of his jaws, we all relaxed. He turned out
to be quite friendly for a Minion of Hell. We ended up all making up and
became friends. Turns out, it was all a horrible missunderstanding. You
see, the Hellhound was simply showing off for his mom, trying to impress
her because she had company. Afterwards we all went out for pizza and caught
a movie (SpiderMan).
Our time in Chicago was at an end. We headed back to St. Louis for another weekend of Faire.